Silverwaters

Diwali 2011

silverwaters — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:06:48 +0000

Yes, I know I’m late. I’m still catching up on things that piled up over the December month of fun and frolic. Those pix are on the way as well, I’m still hunting down some of them from vagrant cameras, so patience is appreciated

A happy Diwali it was for us!

Got to spend it with these awesome ladies, among many more

Wish the lighting was better, it was all taken with my camera phone, but at least it’s something.

She was so adorable in her outfit; she loved wearing it, too!

Big and handsome fellow.

We all had so much fun dressing up, lighting the dias, and bursting crackers. Jordan and I made snacks, which turned out surprisingly well since it was my first time, and generally enjoyed ourselves immensely.

It was nice she let me take pix that evening, smiling and all

Lighting the dias and candles at home

The girls worked on the lighting while Jordan and I wrapped up with the food and snacks

The hall, and you can see a few in the dining area…the dias and candles went around the entire living and dining areas

Dainty as always…Jordan got into watching the big boys, thankfully didn’t get into lighting too many on his own.

Day two…mostly the little ones were left, but they had tons of fun with those as well.

Camp pix

silverwaters — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:49:52 +0000

Charlotte had the opportunity to attend a three day camp here. She had such a great time, and still talks about the things she learned and experienced. Sadly, I don’t have nearly as many pix as I would like, but there’s a bit of an idea there. Thanks so much to the organizers and those who made it all possible!

One of the groups

ATV driving

Wall climbing

Winning team mate. There were more in the team, but this is the only picture I have with their medals

Photos

silverwaters — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 14:04:22 +0000

I thought I’d take the time (finally!) to post pix from this year. I’ve given up trying to get pix from other cameras, so I’m sorry there are very few from the girl’s birthdays. Some from my phone camera are a bit lower in quality, but at least there’s pix, right? I’ll try and catch up before the end of the year, for sure

My man, Jordan!

My beautiful Cherise. I cut her hair this summer, she’s so happy with it.

Sadly, the only picture that I could get was from the morning of her birthday. She had a rocking ‘food theme’ party with several of her friends.

Jordan learned to swim this summer! Cherise can also swim, but is taking it easy, here

My big girl is getting to be so big! She also pulled off a great party!

With my girls.

CC’s party was all about zany and crazy. They had so much fun doing Cherise up, ha!

I love this picture. They’re like mini versions of their moms

More pix are on the way!

Just Like the Birds

silverwaters — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 09:06:52 +0000

I have birds nesting on my balcony.Thanks to a friend of mine who’s into bird watching, I know that they are scaly-breasted munias, which are pretty common in this area. I’ve never had birds nest so closely before; it’s been a pretty amazing experience to watch and hear.
This isn’t the first nest this particular pair have built on my balcony.When I first moved in, they had built a small nest, but with the monsoon rains and wind, it was blown off my balcony before they had a chance to finish. During that time, I was just setting up, going through a myriad of emotions as I was starting over on my own, in a new city, making new friends, and wondering just how I was going to make ends meet.This was the happiest I had been in a long time, but I made new habits of worrying about the details.
Seeing the birds build that nest was comforting as well as interesting. Somehow, having them build their little home in my one was reassuring. Everything would be OK, love was in this home just like their little nest, God was watching out for me and my new little friends.
However, when it blew down, it was just a bit discouraging. I didn’t see it as a bad sign, I was just disapointed that things hadn’t worked out for them. I figured they had built the nest in a bad place, or it just wasn’t strong enough to withstand the elements.It didn’t help that I was worrying, still as well. My prayer times were easily distracted by thoughts of things I still needed to do, how to do them, and when.
But then, after a few weeks, the birds were back! I was reserved in my expectations; it didn’t last before, who could say if they had figured out a way to build a better nest? They were much more enthusiastic than I was; this time the nest was bigger and much more sturdy. They courted on the bars of my balcony, and it looked like they might actually make it this time.
During that time, I hit a snag in my life. Things had been picking up, I was developing a routine, and my sleepless nights were becoming less and less. But then something happened to throw off all my plans. Suddenly, everything was turned upside down–from one day to the next, and I had to figure out how to not only pick up the pieces, but decide which pieces to pick up and which ones to leave. The sleepless nights were back, along with all the anxiety. This wasn’t something I planned and certainly not something I wanted. I struggled knowing just how was I going to be able to pick myself back up again.
Within two weeks, the nest was complete and the female bird pretty much disappeared. There was no way for me to look into the nest, it’s pretty high up and it’s made in such a way that they actually enter into the nest through a little opening on the side, making it covered all around, but I assumed she was roosting. I was right. Not long after, I could see both parents flying in and out, and hear the delightful squeels of tiny, hungry, baby birds.
My heart slowly lifted again. Not only did they ‘learn’ how to build a better nest, the winds and rain had not been able to destroy it this time. They had successfully bred a least three birds (judging from the squeeling I can hear) and were now busy keeping them fed and happy. Things started to pick up again for me as well. It’s been a huge uphill climb, but at least I”m climbing. I didn’t stay down, I’m picking myself back up again. It’s not over yet, there are huge obstacles still in my way, but I’m tackling them–with God’s help and the help of my friends. I now have a note on my desk which tells me that all my worrying is in vain. I have to read it several times a day to remind myself to just trust.
Now, when I feel tempted to worry, to dispair, I lie on my bed, look at that little nest, and meditate on the fact that love is still in this home, just like the little birds. God still has His eye and hand in my life, and just like He cares for the birds, He’s caring for me and my kids.I have amazing friends who have faith in me and help out in any way they can. I meditate on how far I’ve come rather than spend too much time worrying about the mountains still to climb. I will always have more to do, I will always need to provide for my family, I will always feel that I’m falling short. But if I can just trust that I’m in His hands, I’m sure everything will be alright in the end.

(No, I didn’t take these pix, I got them off the web)

Teacher’s Day

silverwaters — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 18:26:52 +0000

Tomorrow is Teacher’s Day, and the kids have been made aware of it this year, for a change. When Cherise heard about it, this is the conversation we had:

Cherise: Oh, tomorrow is Teacher’s Day. That means we should give our teacher the day off!

Mom: Yeah, that sounds more like you’ll be getting yet another holiday out of the deal.

Cherise: But we could use the time wisely and do chores around the house, some extra clean-ups and all.

Mom: But we just did that on Friday, if you remember. (Of course, there are always, always more chores to do around the house, I just wasn’t keen on them taking off a school day to do it)

Cherise: Ok…well, in that case, we’d better do school. (long pause) Oh! Since it’s Teacher’s Day, instead of the day off, you get to do an extra good job of teaching us, then!

Yeah, ok. I’ll do an extra good job tomorrow, promise. If I had my way tomorrow, all the school records would get done (where did the school year go?!?!?!), I would find the lost and missing answer key for science that just mysteriously disappeared, Jordan’s handwriting would magically be neat, Cherise would finish her Math in less than two hours time, and Charlotte would manage to figure out the answer before she calls on me for help (“Teacher, I don’t get this…oh, now that you’re here, I understand, thanks!”). Oh, and I wouldn’t, even once, have to remind the class that there’s no talking during school time.

But who am I kidding? A teacher’s job is full of fun and excitement, full of questions and answers, full of discovery, excitement, and sometimes, just a tiny bit of frustration. Regardless, I love my job, I love that I can still teach my own kids along with the others (I have other kids in my class, I just can’t highlight what my wishes are for them on my blog, heh), and I love the feeling of teaching a child something new and seeing them progress. I still love the excitement children have when they learn something interesting for the first time, or when something elusive has been made clear to them, or they get hands-on fun with an experiment.

To all teachers out there, enjoy ‘your’ day today, smile because you’re valued, and know that you are making a difference. Now, excuse me while I get back to the school records and the search for that answer key!

Reviving

silverwaters — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 17:54:21 +0000

I’d like to revive this blog once again. I have some pix taken over the last few months that I’ve managed to get off of borrowed cameras, etc. I have been having a lot of exciting writing deadlines and projects lately, but I need to write just for me from time to time, so I’d like to see this take off again. No promises, but I’ll try. For starters, here are some pix from our holiday in May; the rest may yet be salvaged, I’m hoping so!

Learning to Rest–Again!

silverwaters — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 06:15:03 +0000

Very often, it just happens that something I read or listen to something that just fits in my life perfectly. The recent audio, Find Rest to Your Soul was just one of those—there have been several this month, I just now am taking the time to reflect on this one especially.

Starting afresh has been a juggling act at times. My priority is spending time with my kids, teaching them, nurturing, and caring for them. This has to be put into perspective with supporting them, keeping the flat in livable condition, and studying. There have been days when I felt I just dropped the ball, again and again. If it isn’t one, it’s the other, and something always comes up short in my mind. Not that I have anything to complain about, I have a great support structure in the way of friends who are simply amazing and the kids are thrilled that I have quality time with them. I just let my overly perfectionist ways get the better of me sometimes, wishing I could do it all, and do it now.

Life isn’t like that. Growth is gradual, goals are reached in increments, and life isn’t perfect—ever. It’s all about my reaction to life that makes the difference, though. I’ve been working on being a more positive person, seeing the good, staying praiseful and learning to trust for the rest. It’s not an easy path, but I feel I’m making progress. This audio, though, reminded me of another truth:

Jesus said, “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”¹ If you’re meek and lowly, you’ll “find rest unto your souls.” In other words, you don’t try to be more than you are, or more than Jesus is. He’s setting the example. “Just be meek and lowly and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”

So if you find out you can’t pull your load today, maybe it means you’re trying to pull too much. All you who labor too much, too hard, and are too heavily laden, relax, be meek and lowly! His burden is light. Don’t try to be too much, and He will give you rest. Don’t try to do more than you can. Don’t try to be more than you are. Stay humble and lowly, and then you’ll find rest to your soul. Keep looking to the Lord—the light—and His burden is light!

“Don’t try to be more than you are, or more than Jesus is.” When did I stop just resting in His arms? When did I start thinking I needed to be more, to try to somehow attain to some level that He’s not even asking of me? If I really search my heart, I know it’s been many, many months since I started on the road to ‘self-perfection’ in some way. I stopped listening to what the Lord told me that He saw me as, and started to listen to those who told me or made me feel that I wasn’t enough in some way. I started to see this some time ago, but it didn’t really sink in until this month.

There is another quote in that audio: “Bear ye one another’s burdens,” and don’t push others to work too hard or do too much or carry too big a load. Share the load! If you’re strong enough, you can help share theirs; and if they’re strong enough, they can help share yours. I think the tendency for those of us who are overachievers, or who are physically able to carry a big load is that we expect the same from everyone else. I’m an overachiever, but I’m not physically able. I tend to look at those who can do so much, who have unending stamina, never get sick, as somehow attaining more than me. It’s only made worse if the expectation is that I should reach that same level.

It’s a lack of maturity to expect life to be fair, to expect everyone to be able to carry the same load, to label those that can’t ‘keep up’ as ‘weak’. It’s equally immature to expect that I can do as much as everyone else, that I need to attain to someone else’s idea of what ‘keeping up’ means. By putting myself into a little ‘guilt’ box every time I needed rest or a break, I took myself out of the Lord’s restful arms and on to the path of stress and burnout.

I don’t think this will be a lesson easily learned for me. There will still be tears when I feel I’ve failed the Lord, my kids, my work, or myself. But because I know it will take time to change, I’m going to give myself time to change. I’m not going to beat myself up about the lacks, but focus on the change. I’m going to focus on staying in that place of rest, counting my blessings, and reminding myself that I am the way He made me, and as such, I will let Him do through me what I can’t do myself.

Some pix

silverwaters — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 17:19:23 +0000

I will be getting more pix from the camera I’m borrowing; until then, a few pix from our trip here and our first days here.

Cherise reading to herself and her teddies on the train

CC and Jordan shared a bunk since one bunk was taken with our stuff. It was a long and boring ride, but uneventful and safe, thank God!

I shall call her squishy and she shall be mine and she shall be my squishy…lucky me, get to steal this little one whenever I like

Cherise at the reading corner we did one week. At home, there is no sleep-over complete without Cherise doing a story.

Grateful to be Back!

silverwaters — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 18:22:13 +0000

I was wondering how to get back to blogging again after such a long break. I’ve missed writing just for fun, but have not had the time or opportunity to get started on it until now. After giving it some thought, I felt my first post back should be a grateful post. I know I won’t be able to mention everyone or everything that I’m thankful for in one post, so my apologies in advance if I don’t get everything covered.

First and most importantly, I want to thank God for all His help, direction, and guidance over the last few months. He’s been caring for me my whole life long, I just want to specify these last few months. All these changes were His idea, after all, He’s leading me down a new path in my life and I’m loving it! Once again, I had to saw off the limb and He, once again, was faithful to catch me, to uphold me, to bring me to a safe place. There’s nothing compared to complete surrender to the will of God and finding complete joy and satisfaction even through the rougher patches. Despite the worrying, the loneliness, the insecurity at times, I can honestly say I’m genuinely happy—these are some of the happiest days of my life so far! Thank You for being there with me, for being my Provider, my Keeper, my Husband!

It has often been said that God has no hands except those He can use here on earth. I am so incredibly thankful for the people who have been there for me and helped me along my journey. I feel overwhelmed at times by the love and care I’ve experienced, even from people I didn’t know before. It’s amazing to me how people rallied behind us, helped us in so many ways, and because of them, we were able to get set up in record time.

There is a quote that says, “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” I can certainly attest that this is true. I have met the most amazing people recently and they have made an impact in my (and my kids) life like few have. When we arrived, they took us in, unconditionally, put us up in their best room, took care of us, and helped in innumerable ways to find the place we’re at now. They did not have to give so much. They would have had every reason to say no to taking us in to begin with! They did not just give what was convenient or practical or extra. They went the extra, extra mile and never made us feel in the way or like we’re extra trouble. Not only that, but I’ve gained two wonderful friends; they helped me through the rough patches and give good, solid counsel. I’m so happy I found a place nearby so we have daily contact. I’m privileged to know and work with such wonderful people.

There are others as well. People who’ve stood by me and been there without judging; people who spurred me on by not allowing me to quit, people who helped me to have faith in myself again. I only hope that I can pay it forward, help others in ways I can, and be there when someone needs a helping hand. I’ve learned a lot about friendship, what it means to truly love unconditionally, and I hope to put that to practice in my life more and more.

I’m also incredibly thankful for my kids. God gave me a wonderful gift in each one of them; they make me smile, they make me get up and keep going, and I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to not only be a mom and caregiver to them, but teacher and provider as well.

I’m sure I’ll think of more to be grateful for—or to write about it—life just keeps getting better as I focus on the positive. This is one wonderful ride, I’m so glad I kept following the path He leads me on day by day.

There’s a Man in My Life…

silverwaters — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 12:41:22 +0000

…who lights up my world; he really does. He enjoys the morning almost as much as I do, although he enjoys sleeping, too. I love how he takes his arm around my neck and pulls me back into the bed with him, making sure I know I’m loved first thing in the morning.
…who, like so many people, doesn’t always understand me, doesn’t always ‘get’ why my mood swings from time to time, why I have “no touchy” times or whole days, but who accepts me the way I am, makes sure he’s even more crazy than me, and doesn’t judge when I’m ‘odd’.
…with an incredible sense of humor. Not one to shy away from a good word play, an opportunity to make fun of himself, or just make everyone around him laugh with his silly faces and body contortions. I have a video of him doing a dance that I watch from time to time, just to laugh until I cry.
…with a soft and tender heart. Somehow he knows how to comfort others. Usually it’s just with a warm hug, he’s not big on words, just on ‘being there’.
…who’s noisy, messy, silly, can’t find things that are right in front of him, who loves pizza way more than is healthy, wants to cuddle even on the hottest summer days, he’s a bit of a show-off and way too daring for my delicate heart, but I love him all the same.

I know one day another woman will take you into her heart, and I’ll have to let you go, but regardless of where you go or what you do, you’ll forever be in my heart, you will forever be my son.

Happy Birthday, Jordan!