You Might Be a Mommy If . . .
By Leslie Wilson
With my comments in red. I’ve seen these before, but this one is new…I had to smile…
Every shirt you own has spit-up on the shoulder. Three years ago, this would have been true.
Must-see TV includes Barney, Arthur and Disney Playhouse. Or Cherub Wings, Family Fun and Veggie Tales!
You carry a diaper bag instead of a purse. Until about 18 months ago, yep.
You analyze babies’ bodily functions with women you just met. Never! Can’t relate to this one.
“Sleeping in” is when the clock reads 6:30 a.m. Thank God my kids were better on this one, but yeah, sleeping in has a different meaning from what it was before kids!
You never go anywhere without baby wipes. EVER!
You sleep with a baby monitor a foot away from your head. Or all the doors open so I can see them and they can see me!
With each subsequent child, you’ve progressed from sterilizing the pacifier to washing it off to blowing on it, invoking the three-second rule. Mine didn’t take them, and I honestly kept up the toy washing with each kid, but I did slacken on the amounts of disinfectant and boiling I did till it was deemed ‘clean’.
Your children are better dressed than you. I envy CC’s wardrobe! Heh!
You used to be known by your first name – now you’re Jordan’s mommy. She actually used that name!
You store five sizes of clothes in your closet. At least!
You call your husband on his cell phone in order to have a real conversation with him. Call any adult!
You go to bed at 12:30 a.m. and get up at 5:00 a.m., thankful for the extra sleep. Again, thankfully not that bad for me. But when they were smaller, 6 hrs of sleep was a good night!
Excitement means Pampers are on sale. Oh yes, and having enough money to stock up!
You consider PBJs and Cheetos a nutritious meal. Ummmm, no. But my kids have had ice cream for breakfast, cold ‘Wudy’s’ (There really is a hot dog brand called this in Croatia!) and carrot sticks for dinner, or cereal for lunch.
You can change from lounging-sweats casual to night-on-the-town glamorous in three-and-a-half minutes. Add makeup and it comes to 5 min…
“Doing lunch” means meeting three friends and their preschoolers at the McDonald’s Playplace. Or “going out” means roller blading at the park
Hearing the words, “I’m done,” from the bathroom sends chills up your spine. And I pray I get there in time!
You own more Disney movies than pairs of shoes. And all my kids shoes combined!
You can pee with three children watching you – and only two are yours. No, never! The bathroom is the only place I get privacy!
You spend more on babysitters than you do on utilities. Thank God for sisters and communal living.
If you were trapped for days in your car, you could survive on the Cheerios and french fries on your floorboards. Jo would never allow the car to get into that state 😀
You can tell what your daughter ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner by looking at the front of her T-shirt. Oh, yes, most days I could!
You willingly hug and kiss a kid who has sticky fingers, sweat-drenched hair and a milk mustache. And let them smear it all over me as well!
You’re overworked, overcommitted and underappreciated – and you wouldn’t trade your life for anything in the world. No, I sure wouldn’t!