my writings and thots

Falling

When I was a child, my brother and sister and I used to play a game where we would stand by the edge of my mom’s big bed and just fall on it. When we started, reflex would set in and we would use our hands to catch ourselves or our knees would buckle to break the fall. As we played though, we started to use our hands or knees less. My little sister usually won the game as she was fearless. She could even fall while standing on the bed without so much as flinching. It took a lot longer for me to get it down and I ended up losing more often than not. It took a degree of trust, to just ‘let go’ and not let reflex take over in the knowledge that it was safe to just fall. Over time, we got quite good at it to the point where once, when I fainted for real (standing by that very bed) my mom told me to ‘stop playing around’.

I was thinking about that game recently and realized how much my life right now is like that game of just falling and trusting that I won’t be hurt. Every day I fall again and I have to chose if I’m going to try and ‘save myself’ or trust that the Everlasting Arms will hold me up. There are days I ‘lose’ and I try too hard to fix a problem, rationalize a solution, or just freak out because there isn’t really anything I can do! But, I’m hoping that with practice I’ll be ‘winning’ more often, letting Him catch me, and just like when I was a child, trusting that everything will be alright in the end, that there’s a master plan, that what “He has promised, He is able to fulfill” (Rom. 4:21) My mind’s ‘reflex’ is to question, to stay up late at night wondering where the finances will come from, or how we’re going to meet our deadlines with all that is still there to do. It’s just come to that, I have to trust God to overcome all impossibilities and be there for me when I ‘fall’.

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1 thought on “Falling”

  1. We are praying for you all. We know He has His perfect plan and timing. I too have been having some stressful times. Been looking for a house since we returned from over there for about 3 1/2 months now. Seen about 50 or more apartments and houses. Many times I felt like quiting thinking we would never find what we were looking for and for the price we wanted. Many people said it was impossible to find what we were looking for for such a small price. But then He did it. A real miracle and He answered all our requests just about. All that to say is to hang on to Him. Casting All your cares upon Him for He cares for you. So let Him stay up all night while you sleep instead of worrying. I’ve been rereading Stress Not and listening to the MP3 of it, not once but many times already. Well, I hope this helps a little and we will continue to pray for you, Jo and Kiddo’s. We love you!
    PS: Looks like this house is coming through but haven’t signed the contract yet so we appreciate your prayers for that and for Him to see through to completetion. Thanks.

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