When I was a child, my brother and sister and I used to play a game where we would stand by the edge of my mom’s big bed and just fall on it. When we started, reflex would set in and we would use our hands to catch ourselves or our knees would buckle to break the fall. As we played though, we started to use our hands or knees less. My little sister usually won the game as she was fearless. She could even fall while standing on the bed without so much as flinching. It took a lot longer for me to get it down and I ended up losing more often than not. It took a degree of trust, to just ‘let go’ and not let reflex take over in the knowledge that it was safe to just fall. Over time, we got quite good at it to the point where once, when I fainted for real (standing by that very bed) my mom told me to ‘stop playing around’.
I was thinking about that game recently and realized how much my life right now is like that game of just falling and trusting that I won’t be hurt. Every day I fall again and I have to chose if I’m going to try and ‘save myself’ or trust that the Everlasting Arms will hold me up. There are days I ‘lose’ and I try too hard to fix a problem, rationalize a solution, or just freak out because there isn’t really anything I can do! But, I’m hoping that with practice I’ll be ‘winning’ more often, letting Him catch me, and just like when I was a child, trusting that everything will be alright in the end, that there’s a master plan, that what “He has promised, He is able to fulfill” (Rom. 4:21) My mind’s ‘reflex’ is to question, to stay up late at night wondering where the finances will come from, or how we’re going to meet our deadlines with all that is still there to do. It’s just come to that, I have to trust God to overcome all impossibilities and be there for me when I ‘fall’.