Thanks to the blessing of broadband, we’ve been able to catch up on some audio files from the MO site that I hadn’t been aware of. Lily found a few testimonial radio shows and one in particular made a big impression on me. It’s the story of Darlene Rose who was a very young missionary to New Guinea just before WW2. Shortly after the start of the war, she was taken as a prisoner of war, went through all sorts of harrowing and life-threatening experiences, and found out that her husband went to be with the Lord. So many times in the narrative, she talks about how just when she thought she couldn’t go on another step, the Lord would speak to her heart and give her the peace and strength to go on, doing miracles in order to keep her alive and heal her of different tropical diseases he got. I was moved to see how through the whole experience she kept her faith, kept believing the Lord’s promises (she was a prisoner for nearly 4 years) and made it out alive.
Towards the end of her story, she’s explaining how she, once she was released, had sent telegrams home letting them know she was alive and coming home. However, she never heard word from her parents and took the boat trip not knowing where she’d end up and what she’d do once she got there. When the boat docked, it finally hit her that in the last four years, her parents had also passed away and now she was completely alone. She questioned the Lord as to why she was now completely alone, to which He told her, “You can still trust Me, My child.” She made her peace with the Lord and decided to try to find someone from the Red Cross who could give her funds to get back to her home state in order to see if anyone from her family was still alive and try to start over. The first Red Cross lady she explained all this to told Darlene that she had been looking for her with three telegrams from her parents explaining that they had moved and had sent money for her to get to where they were. The next part, I’ll transcribe, because it spoke so much to me and she said it so well.
“But you know, I thank God that He didn’t let me meet that woman until I had met Him and I knew that even if Mother and Dad and the rest of them were gone I could still trust my Lord. You know, it’s wonderful that God brings you to that place where it’s faith without trappings; just faith and a testimony of a Person that you’ve walked with for all these years, that I think in a measure it was like Job said, “even though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.” Because I knew the character of my God.”
There are times when I feel like I’ve given a lot up, sacrificed or done a fair deal of hurting inside. But when I look at things from that perspective, I can see how there are those times when God just wants to meet me, just wants my faith to be such that I trust regardless of what I can see or feel. In comparison, my sacrifices are tiny, and if I compare to all He gave up for me, that infinite love, nothing can compare! It’s something I’ve been learning over the last few months, to, when things get desperate, when I really don’t know which way I’ll turn, instead of feeling that I have some kind of ‘right’ to bemoan my difficulties, to instead just chose to trust; to put it all in His hands and let Him lead. I haven’t attained yet, and there are still times I hit bottom in a manner of speaking, but in those times, I just have to reach out my hand, like a child, and ask Him to pick me up again, having the full trust, that indeed, He will.