my writings and thots

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day, one day I really enjoy every year, there’s a lot less commercial ‘pressure’ than on Valentines without all the need to go out and buy something or do something big. And it has nothing to do with being a mom, myself. Or not a lot, anyway.
Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a mommy. I tucked my dolls into bed with me, dreaming of dressing up little girls, doing their hair, and I told myself I’d do my best to be a good mother. I wanted to prepare and be as ready as I could for the job I saw as beautiful and fun. As I got into my teen years, I decided to become an educator so that I could teach my children as well as learned all I could about childcare. I was very blessed to have some good teachers who instilled in me a love for children as well as taught me a lot of how to care for them practically.
Thankfully, I didn’t become a mother as early as I had originally hoped, but it took becoming a mother to realize that there’s just no way to ‘prepare’ for being a mom. I was excited and full of dreams, but not quite prepared for the awesome responsibility it brought with it. Slowly, I came to understand my own mom better and seek out her advice. She helped me in ways she might not even be aware of, she was a good example to me of the joyful sacrifice that comes with motherhood. I can never remember her once complaining of a lack of free time, or wishing she could get a break from us. Yes, I knew she was often tired, but looking back and understanding just how tiring motherhood is, I respect the time she took to make our lives special.
I remember going swimming in the summer months when she was pregnant with my youngest brother. I remember birthday parties she’d make special for me. She paid attention to small things, like my enjoyment of crocheting and would keep an eye out for yarn in all sorts of interesting and new colors. As children, we can be rather selfish and self-centered and demanding, but she did her best to accommodate us as much as she could.
Now, that I have my own children, I can appreciate her so much more. When I fail or make mistakes in my parenting, I remind myself that my mom wasn’t perfect, either, but it was knowing she loved me that compensated for all that. She instilled strong moral values that I am working on teaching my kids know. She taught me how to keep a soft heart but a tough spirit, never giving up and giving to others again and again. She can still read me better than anyone else and has now started to read my children, too. I find myself needing her insight and advice and I hope she knows how very thankful I am for the great job she did.

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