As my children grow up, there are times when I feel more than a little overwhelmed by the things that they go through, the things I need or want to do for them, the every changing needs they have, and the challenges they are faced with regularly. Anyone who has been following for any amount of time knows that I’m an overachiever and hate when I keep dropping the ball.
It’s only getting more challenging as they get older and things around me change in a way I can’t control. I have days when I can’t believe I can go on one more step. When I’m so tired I have to go back to sleep once the kids leave for school. When one of my kids comes home in tears after having their stuff thrown around their classroom by a class bully, saying, “when can we go home, mom?” When I get the piece of paper that says that it’s not up to me to decide where we live or what education my children will have. When I do my best to get work, to pile on the jobs, but it’s still not enough. When the washing machine acts up and I end up with a floor covered in sewer first thing in the morning.
The list could go on and on. I’m not even sure how many balls I’ve dropped today, and frankly, I’ve stopped trying to keep track. As a mother, I can give my best and I do, every single day. I keep looking for jobs and options to get back home–eventually. I hug my kids, often. I decided to do fun things with them sometimes as well, because we all know, those are the things they’ll remember. We went ice skating and yes, CC is faster than me, but that’s ok because we can laugh about it. We play games together or make puzzles.
I’ll never be able to juggle all the balls that are thrown at me every day. Hey, I’m not even sure I can keep up making lemonade with all the lemons, so I’ll add a spritz to my gin tonic on the weekends and get back to it all again tomorrow. And I can guide my kids, guide by my words and guide by my actions. Teach them how to hang on through the rough times, that God gives us the strength for each challenge, but sometimes it’s ok to be weak and need help. Lead them as much as I can and hope and pray they’ll stay on the path that they’re meant for.