my writings and thots, read this

It’s kind of obvious that I haven’t been writing for myself much lately. Well, I write in my mind a lot, and I have a fair number of unfinished posts which I just never posted.

It’s not just writing; I haven’t been as open lately in general. I avoid chats and discussions other than with my closest friends. Because of some comments that were made that I bother people with the things I say, I’ve been careful about what I say and to whom. My intention was never to get on people’s nerves.

It’s occurred to me though that this is my place to write. This is where I get to express me. I miss writing. I miss putting my thoughts down and expressing myself through the written word. When it comes down to it, no one is forced to read this and as such, it’s still my place.

In general, writing is easy for me. I can express myself better in writing than I can when I speak. Having an outlet where I can put those thoughts down also means I can edit and make sure I’m happy with the outcome. Why would I want to punish myself because there are those who don’t like me? I don’t write to get affirmation or approval, especially from those who anyway don’t see things the way I do. I’m happy to debate and discuss, but shutting up shouldn’t be an option, not as long as I’m not hurting anyone.

Not writing is only hurting myself. I like documenting the path I’m on and I enjoy going back over old posts to see how far I’ve come.

So for those who use my expression here as a means to judge me, just close the page and use your time elsewhere. I won’t mind.

As for me, I’ll continue to write about my experiences and the path that life takes me on. Feel welcome to join me or not, it’s entirely up to you.

my writings and thots, read this

Grateful to be Back!

I was wondering how to get back to blogging again after such a long break. I’ve missed writing just for fun, but have not had the time or opportunity to get started on it until now. After giving it some thought, I felt my first post back should be a grateful post. I know I won’t be able to mention everyone or everything that I’m thankful for in one post, so my apologies in advance if I don’t get everything covered.

First and most importantly, I want to thank God for all His help, direction, and guidance over the last few months. He’s been caring for me my whole life long, I just want to specify these last few months. All these changes were His idea, after all, He’s leading me down a new path in my life and I’m loving it! Once again, I had to saw off the limb and He, once again, was faithful to catch me, to uphold me, to bring me to a safe place. There’s nothing compared to complete surrender to the will of God and finding complete joy and satisfaction even through the rougher patches. Despite the worrying, the loneliness, the insecurity at times, I can honestly say I’m genuinely happy—these are some of the happiest days of my life so far! Thank You for being there with me, for being my Provider, my Keeper, my Husband!

It has often been said that God has no hands except those He can use here on earth. I am so incredibly thankful for the people who have been there for me and helped me along my journey. I feel overwhelmed at times by the love and care I’ve experienced, even from people I didn’t know before. It’s amazing to me how people rallied behind us, helped us in so many ways, and because of them, we were able to get set up in record time.

There is a quote that says, “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” I can certainly attest that this is true. I have met the most amazing people recently and they have made an impact in my (and my kids) life like few have. When we arrived, they took us in, unconditionally, put us up in their best room, took care of us, and helped in innumerable ways to find the place we’re at now. They did not have to give so much. They would have had every reason to say no to taking us in to begin with! They did not just give what was convenient or practical or extra. They went the extra, extra mile and never made us feel in the way or like we’re extra trouble. Not only that, but I’ve gained two wonderful friends; they helped me through the rough patches and give good, solid counsel. I’m so happy I found a place nearby so we have daily contact. I’m privileged to know and work with such wonderful people.

There are others as well. People who’ve stood by me and been there without judging; people who spurred me on by not allowing me to quit, people who helped me to have faith in myself again. I only hope that I can pay it forward, help others in ways I can, and be there when someone needs a helping hand. I’ve learned a lot about friendship, what it means to truly love unconditionally, and I hope to put that to practice in my life more and more.

I’m also incredibly thankful for my kids. God gave me a wonderful gift in each one of them; they make me smile, they make me get up and keep going, and I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to not only be a mom and caregiver to them, but teacher and provider as well.

I’m sure I’ll think of more to be grateful for—or to write about it—life just keeps getting better as I focus on the positive. This is one wonderful ride, I’m so glad I kept following the path He leads me on day by day.

My favorite quotes, songs and stories, read this

Too Good Not to Share

I know, I know…I’ve been meaning to write, I have a lot to write, it’s piling up inside me, just waiting for the chance to burst out. I will be writing again, I just needed some time to get some clarity make some sense of things so that I can once again make sense to you. I’ve been writing, only not on here, but I’ll get back in the groove soon.

Someone posted this from Paul Coelho’s blog. It blew me away, because it expresses exactly how I feel right now. I could NOT have said it better and I want to share it with you, maybe you feel the same. I’d really like to get more comments, if you have something to say, please, say it!

Looking For a Reason

What is a warrior of light?

Warriors of light keep the spark in their eyes.

They are in the world, are part of other people’s lives, and began their journey without a rucksack and sandals. They are often cowards. They don’t always act right.

Warriors of light suffer over useless things, have some petty attitudes, and at times feel they are incapable of growing. They frequently believe they are unworthy of any blessing or miracle.

Warriors of light are not always sure what they are doing here. Often they stay up all night thinking that their lives have no meaning.

Every warrior of light has felt the fear of joining in battle. Every warrior of light has once lost faith in the future.

Every warrior of light has once trodden a path that was not his/her. Every warrior of light has once felt that he/she was not a warrior of light. Every warrior of light has once failed in his/her spiritual obligations.

That is what makes them warriors of light; because they have has been through all this and have not lost the hope of becoming better.

That is why they are warriors of light.
Because they make mistakes.
Because they wonder.
Because they look for a reason – and they will certainly find one.

about the kids, read this

Christmas Pictures

Like CC said on her blog, I’ve been plenty busy this month. At the beginning of December, I had to chose what I could realistically do, and what I had to let go. Sadly, keeping up with the blog, was one that I had to let go for the month,  but no fear, it is not dead, merely hibernating through the busy Christmas season.

After nearly 1 1/2 years without a camera, we’re so thankful to our friends in Croatia who sent one for Charlotte. So be prepared for a bit of a photo overload, I might put them up in batches…there are also video clips of the kids dancing which will go up as soon as I copy them.

I hope everyone had a blessed and love-filled Christmas.


read this

First Advent!

This will be our third Chrismas here in India, and there are things that remind me of Christmas here, now as well. It takes me some time to associate events with feelings, smells, etc.

In Europe, the cold weather, snow, etc would put me in the mood for Christmas (basically the only good feeling associated with cold, I don’t miss it, for sure!). It gets cooler here, too, though this year it’s still a bit warmer than in the two years past. However, switching to warmer clothes, sleeping with a light blanket, and having it be foggy in the morning does bring that cozy Christmas feel.

There’s the way things just smell different as it gets closer to Christmas. And of course, listening to carols and Christmas songs. The kids have been practicing for some weeks already and we’re all enjoying listening and dancing to our favorites just for fun.

So we dug out a Christmas game today and had plenty fun with that, despite me not being entirely healthy again yet. Charlotte used her ‘sick time’ to finish her nativity scene that she made entirely by herself. She sewed adorable little characters, all the way down to the chicken (excuse me, dove…). I’ll try and get pictures of those as well.

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend and First Advent. It’s time to enjoy the season of love!

about the kids, read this

Average Grades

August is the end of the school year as well!

Reading-2 books: 90%
Math-2 books: 98%
LA-2 books: 95%
Science-1 book: 96%
Social Studies-1 book: 100%

Year Average:
Language Arts-6 books: 98%
Reading-8 books: 94%
Math-6 books: 97%
Science-2 books: 96%
Social Studies-2 books: 98%
Total-24 books-97%

Cherise: (Started 4th Grade!)
Bible-2 books: 95%
LA-2 books: 94%
Spelling: 95%
Reading-1 book: 93%
Math-1 book: 90%
Science-1 book: 95%
Social Studies-2 books: 93%

Year Average:
Bible-7 books: 94%
Language Arts-7 books: 95%
Spelling: 95%
Reading-6 books: 95%
Math-6 books: 91%
Science-5 books: 87%
Social Studies-5 books: 89%
Total-37 books: 92%

LA-4 books: 91%
Spelling: 92%
Math: 4 books: 90%
Science-4 books: 94%
Social Studies-4 tests (she’s doing textbook study): 94% (It deserves honorable mention that she passed her final exam with 100%)

Year Average:
Bible-3 books: 95%
Language Arts-11 books: 93%
Spelling: 91%
Reading-6 books: 96%
Math-11 books: 93%
Science-10 books: 92%
Social Studies-2 lightunits, plus textbook study (13 tests +final): 93%
Total-57 tests: 93%